I don't know of any "white list" or workaround to stop McAfee being so twitchy about anything it comes across. Which is strange considering it cross references with a black list of supposed "known" malicious sites when making its decisions. My own personal site got onto this list about 8 years ago after it got hacked and a virus uploaded into it. I became aware of this within 24 hours, I wiped the site, uploaded from an off-line backup, change the password and the world was good again. Until I found out I had made the black list. As far as I know, it's still there ...
As for Adobe installing unrequested software when you try to update Flash, I agree, it's pretty low. I have updated Flash twice, and I too got something unwanted, which got uninstalled straight away. I couldn't tell you whether it was different on each occasion, but I seem to remember it being McAfee. At present, every time I try and open something Flash-based, I get a prompt telling me that Flash needs updating, but the content runs anyway.
I am now stuck between running outdated Flash, or updating Flash and getting something completely unwanted into the bargain.
For now, I'll just keep using the Flash as it works, and I reckon I'm competent enough to handle any consequences that might arise from this.
HTH
DominicB
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