Ok... I think I'm understanding...

I have tried:

If(pull from "grant column" = "grant #", small("date list", 2),0) - gives me 1900
If(pull from "grant column" = "grant #", small("date list", 2),"") - gives me blank
If(pull from "grant column" <> "grant #", small("date list", 2),"") - gives me the 2nd date for the whole dataset

Thank you for your help on this!