How do I automatically attach & combine titles to formulas?

Say I have a column called bananas, where it said I had 20 bananas, and a column called lemons, where it said I had 10 lemons. Then in the third column, column C, say I decided to divide the bananas by lemons. I type in =A2 (where it says 20 bananas) / B2 (where it says 10 lemons).

In column C, I would get a value of 2, because 20 divided by 10 is 2. But 2 of what? What I want to know is, because in column C I divided the column called "BANANAS" by the column called "LEMONS," how do I get my column C name to automatically change to "BANANAS/LEMONS" or "BANANAS:LEMONS."

Basically, I have a huge data sheet with so many categories and combinations of categories and numbers, where Im comparing each column of numbers to every other column. Ive figured out a way to do the numbers part automatically, because it would be impossible to put in a new formula for each column manually, but the names present the same problem. I cant manually type in a new column name for every column. I need the correct name to automatically go there. So if Im comparing column A to column E in column Z, for example, and column A is called CATS, and column E is called DOGS, then I want column Z to automatically be named CATS:DOGS.

And not only in the titles of column Z do I want this to show up, but after Ive compared A and E, and gotten the numbers there (showing up in column Z), and then I sum those column Z numbers to get a "total" for the A:E comparison, I need CATS:DOGS to show up by the total as well. Because eventually I am going to take all my totals and put them into one sheet, just the totals, getting rid of everything else (which is a whole different problem).

To simply for everyone so hopefully you can help me better, I have uploaded a sheet. In column A, B, and C, there are three "schedules" for what days I have to pick up various fruits from my local grocery store. Column A is apples, B = Oranges, C = Melons. In the next three columns to the right, D, E, and F, I have compared these three schedules to see if any dates overlap or conflict. I am not so much interested in which days conflict as I am the total days each schedule conflicts with the others. The method Im using is something someoen on the forum told me to use, so I dont know if its perfect or if I should be using something else. It doesnt give me the totals I want right away, so I have to sum up all the numbers you see in D, E, and F, and then at the bottom is where the totals Im after are showed. So the bottom most number in column D is the total number of days column A's schedule and B's schedule conflict. E has A and C's schedule's comparison, with the sum total at the bottom showing the total number of conflicting days. F has B and C.

So if there's a better way to just get the totals, let me know. Otherwise this way works once I get help with these last details.

In my sheet, I have color-coded the problems Im having. In D2 through F2, you will see a red highlight. That is because these columns are where I want the correct titles to automatically show up, or to put in a single formula that I copy into the three cells at once that will achieve this. So in D2 where it's red highlighted, and where it says (Title?), I need to know how to automatically make it say something like "APPLES:ORANGES." The same problem exists in E2 and F2. So everything with the red highlights has the title problem.

If you scroll down to D86 through F86, there is the same title problem, except ive put the whole rectangle in yellow. But with the titles part of it, it's the same problem. I need the titles to automatically show up right above (or next to, or whatever) the sum totals for each category, which you can see below the titles.

And then the last problem, assuming I can get the correct titles down there, I still have the data not how I want it. If you put the titles right above the "sum totals" for each of them, then it's vertical, and I want horizontal. If you put them to the side, you have to make more columns to make room between each number, plus it's all on one line, which doesnt work for me.

So why I put that in yellow, my last problem is, I need to know how to turn everything you see with yellow background on the sheet, the three titles (or where there should be titles), and the three "totals" numbers, and I need to know how I can automatically turn that into what you see in blue.

In other words, I need to know how to turn data from......

TITLE1 | TITLE2 | TITLE3
TOTAL1|TOTAL2|TOTAL3

from that into

TITLE1 | TOTAL1
TITLE2 | TOTAL2
TITLE3 | TOTAL3

So there are a couple steps i need help with. First making the titles automatically follow the numbers, or the formulas, so every time I compare a new schedule, it attaches the correct names. And I need those correct names/titles attached to the TOTALS at the bottom, so that I can then just take the totals and use them for my project. And the last thing is just that, I need help taking the totals with the titles and making them show up like above, TITLE | TOTAL.