Converting columns of non-standard formatted data into a table (rows)

I have data in two columns that I would like to convert into a table. The challenge is that the data fields of my current columns are not consistent and so I do not think I can use the OFFSET function - at least I don't know how.

I've tried so many things only to realize somewhere along the way that my idea won't work. Ugh...it's getting personal: me against the Excel spreadsheet at this point

The attached file has an explanation of what I am trying to to (it is often easier to show instead of try to explain). Any help anyone could provide would be tremendously welcome.

Thanks,
Peter from Seattle